In a recent local support group post, a woman with breast cancer mentioned how she was worried that after years of her maintenance treatment stopping, what if it comes back. Here was my response:
Hi friend, I don’t have breast cancer, but another BC…. bladder cancer. And it is a chronic recurring type. I have had 10 recurrences in the last 8 years. I learned early that I cannot predict what will happen to me, nor control it. I also had to let go of the “what if’s” surrounding my cancer. Once I accepted that, there was so much freedom in no longer stressing or worrying about it. I call that my resilience.
Now not everyone can do that, and of course you will always have that sitting in the back of your mind. That is ok, just try not to focus on it and let it consume your life. It is scary and terrifying, and also disappointing to be going about your life and then have a recurrence. It really does suck if it happens. I put my focus on the in-between and get busy living. I hope this helps you. Celebrate that battle that you won!!! <3
Fear of recurrence is one of the hardest parts of life after cancer, no matter what type you had. You cannot control it, and you do not have to carry it every minute. Some days the worry will sit heavy, and that is okay. On the other days, you appreciate and embrace the good days with full gratitude. That is what resilience looks like for me.
You do not have to walk this road alone. Explore my growing list of cancer support resources.
Frequently Asked Questions
How do you deal with fear of cancer recurrence?
Start by accepting what you cannot control. Let go of the what-ifs where you can, and put your energy into the time between scans, scopes and appointments. Some worry will stay in the background, and that is normal.
Is it normal to worry about cancer coming back?
Yes. Fear of recurrence is one of the most common feelings survivors share, across every type of cancer. You are not alone in it, and there is no wrong way to feel.
What helps with anxiety between cancer scans?
Many people call this scanxiety or scopexiety. Focusing on daily life, leaning on support communities, and writing things down can help. Do what lets you live fully in the in-between.
